I miss my melancholy

I feel sad that I stopped writing my blog so abruptly. I was writing almost two pieces everyday. And then I stopped. I know why I stopped. I was no longer lonely. i was busy. Busy having another person around, my man. It sounds sexy to have your man around. But my bane is that i relax and get rusty. My creativity stops. I need an atmosphere of bleakness, melancholy and loneliness to write. I cant write about happy moments. I like being happy but they are not great stuff to write about.

Coming to my man. He came home and I stopepd writing. I hate to confess it. I dont want to go into the reasons too. Some are obvious. some are not. Maybe I dont wish to reveal them all. Some day i should write about my man. An extremely important person in my life not merely because I am wedded to him. Thats the least of the parameters. But I also dont want to be predictable about it. I realise I have some hangups about it.

Anyway the last few days have been good in terms of work and discipline. I went through a severe pre menstrual stress where I was almost ill as my hormones were dancing aroud coming to their preordained balances. It was bad. If I were alone my blog would have been replete with the experiences of PMS. My readers missed it. But I am sure I will write later as I still have to go through many more years of PMS. It is a long way to go.

Today I am rid of all the blood flowing out. Feel quite clean and proper. Despite being a feminist, I am yet to overcome the sense of dirt associated with my menstrual cycle. Maybe because it stinks and it hurts. So why should I like it?

I am glad that i got back to my blog.