tired thoughts

hmm. Why am I writing this blog? To answer this question I began to look at many blogs that constitute this blog world. Maybe it is for many reasons that one writes. First the interface of the blog is so good. Rather than writing on a white page of the word document, it is elegant to write in such a window. Two, I am in touch with my writing. Three, the distant hope that strangers will read it and comment.

But I suppose at the end of the day it is a way of keeping in touch with yourelf. If someone reads it, I see it only as a bonus. Life does not offer too many bonuses anyway. It is a capitalist world. For a long time I thought of maintaining a journal but it never took off. The few times I wrote has been such a treasure trove for me. The journal is so important to keep track of thought processes. To know what your state of mind was two months or two years back. I forget and and only listen to what I am today. I only hope that I maintain this.

More importantly this journal has the privilege of being anonymous. I can write anything. I hope to explore this terrian far better in the coming days.

It is time to turn in. Feel too tired to even take a shower. But I cant sleep without bathing. I carry the pollution of the city. I am feeling lonely. Inexorably lonely. I have to cook my dinner. I hope there is something good on television. Otherwise how do I sleep. I dont even have a book to read. I should fix the bed lamp. The world space music is also boring. I think when one is on a low everything looks and sounds boring. Boredom is the outcome of depression. sighs. I am sure I will walk out of this if I sleep well.